Clean enough, if you don't mind the occasional mystery stain. As for quiet? Well, if you enjoy the soothing sounds of 18-wheelers thundering past your window at 11p.m. thanks to a prime highway-adjacent location, you'll love it here.
The fridge doubles as modern art since it's purely decorative. The bathroom lighting creates such a romantic, cave-like ambiance that you'll need a flashlight to see if you're actually brushing your teeth. The room door comes with a complimentary finger-sized gap for that authentic outdoor camping experience,but who needs proper insulation anyway, right?
Anyway, for the bargain economy price, what more could you possibly expect? More than enough for rest of one night.