To be fair, the warning signs were there and I ignored them.
1. The long list of one star reviews. Surely just a bunch of hard to please perfectionists…..wrong!
2. The complete lack of security. Just rock up to the front desk and state your name. No need for any ID. Passport? Who cares, you’re in!
3. The abysmal customer service. One old dude more interested in watching Titanic on the TV than communicating in any way. Honestly, who hasn’t seen Titanic the movie by now.
4. I was given the keys to room 014. If this ever happens to you, you poor unfortunate soul, it’s the room dreams go to die. I could actually feel the floor sinking as I walked across the room, my weight causing the mouldy floor boards to sag. The bathroom smelt of actual raw sewage.
5. Pleading for another room was a challenge. (Mainly because we were up to the good bit in Titanic when the ship, like my expectations, were sinking fast). I was given room 411 and I grabbed the keys like Kate Winslett and a floating plank. Yes, it was on the 3rd floor with no lift. Yes, there were mouse traps outside the door. And yes, it came with its very own set of windowsill pigeons (window needed to be opened in order to breathe/sweat) but I had seen and survived room 014 and I was not going back.
So to sum up, if you are looking for the worst hotel in London, some place that you can tell your friends about and laugh, then this hotel is for you. Just make sure you ask to stay in room 014.